My friend told me there’s a guy in Pennsylvania
who lives with close to two hundred whips
and three dozen dressing gowns.
He wears the dressing gowns at night
and dreams of whips cutting into his shoulders.
And yet it never happens.
He wears the dressing gowns way after midnight
takes photos of his whips
and posts them online
then wraps them back in tissue paper
stores them in the armoire
and goes to bed.
He worries about some night dying
and his family finding the whips.
But he plans to buy more.
He’s ordered one made of rhinoceros hide
which he’s told does ‘real damage.’
Although I think nothing ever happens.
Clearly it does.