Blue Bottles for a Blue Lady by Alan Catlin

with apologies to DFW

The only thing between her
and the worst kind of whole-
lotta-shakin’-going-on morning-
after withdrawal, was a pre-made
breakfast drink suitable for drinking
with a flexible straw.  She called
them her Mrs. Fixits, and she had
a whole refrigerator door rack of
them chilled and ready to go.
“Hair of the Dog is for pussies.”
she liked to say, ”My drink of choice
is the real Breakfast of Champions.”
Technically, the libation was known
as a Phillips Screwdriver, that is
Milk of Magnesia and Popov Vodka,
not something you would easily confuse
with former Yankee stars, Mantle
and Martin’s  first thing in the afternoon
eye opener: Cognac, Kahlua and milk.
Regardless of your opinion on
the potability of her drink, no one
argued it’s effect, no one denied
that she had earned her semi-mythic
reputation as the Blue Bottle Lady,
the one who bought up all the stuff
on the shelves of every chain drug store
in town and half the super markets as well.

Alan Catlin
Alan Catlin is the poetry editor of His latest books of poetry are American Odyssey from Future Cycle and Last Man Standing from Lummox Press

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