after school
on the school field
we got through
many bottles and cans
of white lightning
and special brew
sitting around
talking in small circles
alcoholic souls
in the bodies of boys
and once we were
good and drunk
we’d embark on a wild spree
of mindless vandalism
setting fires
spraying paint
and smashing glass
on one such occasion
I took a brick
and threw it through
one of the many panes
in Mr Mcgilligan’s window
as the glass shattered
all over his office floor
I realised that every act of destruction
leading up to this act of destruction
had been an exercise in pointless petulance
I took another brick
and another
and another
and smashed every pane of glass
the following morning
in the clutches of a hangover
way beyond my years
I sat in Mr Mcgilligan’s class
a sweat box of a room
hand-made platitudes
bordered the walls
DON’T FIX THE BLAME
FIX THE PROBLEM
and
YOU’RE ONLY AS SMALL
AS YOUR BIGGEST IDEA
and so on
looking at Mcgilligan’s red face
I wondered if I might vomit
and he looked at mine
and rolled his beady eyes
well, he demanded, what’s the answer, boy?
If you don’t know it by now then you never will!
he said jabbing a fat little finger an inch from my face
he steadied his hand
and the blur subsided
I searched for the answer
but didn’t know what to say
I looked at his fat little finger
at all of his fat little fingers
and I saw lots of little cuts
from where he’d tidied up the shattered glass
and all in a breeze of clarity
my hangover left me
I felt good
and in the remembering
I feel good now
I realised I had known the answer all along
but I never did share it
with Mr Mcgilligan
In Between Hangovers 