Anxieties and Nights by Sudeep Adhikari

It is the vapor of something, I don’t know
a nebulous longing in the guise of an ache,
that rises to fill me up with your diamond eyes.
Anxieties have wings; existence is a drag.

The air is a constant lack, I breathe.  Bones chime,
and fill the vacuous spaces inside my body;
the interference pattern of death and boners.

Sometimes, I want to buy me a lying drug,
telling me that I am living a Bollywood movie.
It sucks, but it won’t go forever.

Do I want to be comfortably fooled? Or do I want
to be naked down to my last molecule ?

I am not made in schools, books or churches. And
I am not going to drag the corpse of last few thousand years,
like I am told to. One of these days, I just want to
be a duck or a stupid pig. What are you going to do about it?

“Form is emptiness. Emptiness is form. “… Diamond Sutra
“Form is background. Background is form”….M.C. Escher’s Sutra
“Wave is particle. Particle is wave”…Heisenberg’s Sutra
“Matter is mind. Mind is matter”….Jung’s Sutra
“Nevermind”…..Cobain’s Sutra

I am going to have a slice of sky for the breakfast today,
to celebrate the oneness of sublime and junk. And of course,
you are not invited, because you and me are always one.

Sudeep Adhikari is a structural engineer/Lecturer from Kathmandu, Nepal. His poetry has found place in many online/print literary journals, the recent being Red Fez , Kyoto , Your One Phone Call, Jawline Review, Anti-Heroin Chic, Yellow Mama, Fauna Quarterly, Beatnik Cowboys and After The Pause.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s