Man, It’s Nice To Be Back In A City Again by Paul Tristram

I saw my first riot van in ages tonight!
I was wandering around Truro, man it’s nice to be back in
a city again.
There were these two girls walking past Burger King, when
two drunken guys (Who obviously knew them) came running up
to them. One of the guys grabbed hold of one of the girls
(By the waist, Ha!) and tried to lift her up onto his shoulders.
The girl was wearing a mini skirt, her legs were thrashing
around everywhere (Very un-lady like) and she started screaming.
Well, the guy hadn’t yet managed to get her up onto his shoulders,
and when she started screaming, he started stumbling.
So his friend came to their assistance, he put his big greasy
hands onto her perfect peach shaped ass and hoisted her up
onto his drunken friend’s shoulders.
And she sat up there for a good four or five seconds before
the drunken twat stumbled again.
Of course there was not even a lamppost for him to grab
hold of to balance himself and his friend had moved off and
was now talking shit to the other girl.
So the guy with the girl on his shoulders grabbed the only
thing available, which was of course the girl’s legs which were
dangling about his chest. Needless to say, this gave him no
kind of balance whatsoever and the two of them crashed to
the floor, face wards.
I was about six foot away at the time, I saw that golden blonde
head bounce off the floor and back up about a foot and then down
again with a loud cracking sound, I could see no blood but
she had started screaming again, bless her, and do you know
what? she was still wrapped around the drunken guy’s neck.
You will probably think me a bit old fashioned, but I would
have simply taken her home and shagged her!

Scribblings Of A Madman
Paul Tristram is a Welsh writer who has poems, short stories, sketches and photography published in many publications around the world, he yearns to tattoo porcelain bridesmaids instead of digging empty graves for innocence at midnight; this too may pass, yet. Buy his books ‘Scribblings Of A Madman’ (Lit Fest Press) ‘Poetry From The Nearest Barstool’ at And a split poetry book ‘The Raven And The Vagabond Heart’ with Bethany W Pope at You can also read his poems and stories here!

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