The Blow-Up Writer, Complete With 2 Holes And Talk-String, Extremely Lifelike, $29.95 by Mather Schneider

 From a Facebook chat with Matthew Dexter

You’ve got to work
around the clock
study and work
work and study
if you want to blow up.

I give myself 10 to 20 years
I mean people your age
are already blowing up
just open your eyes man
people are blowing up all around us
I’ve blown up a little bit
but I haven’t BLOWN blown up
which is my plan
oh trust me I will
I’ve starved for this
I’ve suffered for this
I once went a whole day on two pieces of bread
I once gave my last 5 dollar bill
to a homeless man
because blowing up is all that matters.

I’m the real deal dude
what’s the point of living
if not to blow up
that’s the difference between you and me
I’m just telling you
you have no desire
you have no heart like me
you are bitter and hateful
and waste your time driving a cab.

You either blow up or you don’t
and I know I will
it’s simple
I mean it’s harder now in our age
than it was say
a century ago
but it’s still possible
all you got to do is want it
and get an agent
and hook up with one of 4 big publishers
and be nice to people
and support your fellow writers
and maintain a strict word quota
2,000 words a day minimum
and work and study
and study and work
and you’ll blow up
I mean I will
you probably won’t though
for obvious reasons.

I’m not lecturing you
I’m just saying
because I’m honest
I’m honest to a fault
I can’t lie
there are two kinds of people in this world
the kind that blow up
and the kind that don’t blow up
I know what kind I am
not yet I mean
but get back to me in 10-20 years
we’ll see who’s laughing then
you either get rich and famous
or you eat shit and die.

Gotta go now man
gotta get some work done
blowing up doesn’t happen
on its own you know.

Mather Schneider is 46 years old. He has had hundreds of poems and stories published since 1993 in places like Rattle, Nerve Cowboy, Slipstream, Nimrod, River Styx and Smokelong. He has 3 full length books, DROUGHT RESISTANT STRAIN, HE TOOK A CAB and THE SMALL HEARTS OF ANTS, with another, PRICKLY, coming early in 2017. He divides his time between Tucson, Arizona and northern Mexico, where his wife is from. He earns his living by driving a cab.

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