You No Can Teach Stupid by Joe Balaz

Da odds

of ending up like dat
wuz pretty slim

Kinnah freaky
to actually see it happen dough.

Da unfortunate buggah in question
wen go racing down da road

and he wen eventually fly
like wun bird wit no feathers.

All da witnesses wen tell da cops

da driver in da car wuz speeding
and weaving through traffic

like wun maniac.

Indianapolis 500 on da Interstate
is not wun good ting to do.

Imagine da surprise in his eyes

wen he wen clip da back end
of wun Buick

and ricochet off of wun concrete wall.

Da impact wen send his Mustang
flipping down da street

and he wuz flung out of his vehicle
cause he wuzn’t wearing wun seat beat.

Before da cops
and da paramedics arrived

it must have been wun unreal sight
foa all da passing motorists below—

Da guy wuz partially decapitated

and he wuz hanging
on wun big freeway sign above da road

wheah his body wuz thrown.

To some people
da dumb fool got wat he deserved.

To adah people
it wuz wun sad ting all da way around.

Not to be cynical
or anyting li’dat

but to me

it wuz just anadah example
dat you no can teach stupid.

joe-balaz-pic
Joe Balaz writes in Hawaiian Islands Pidgin (Hawai’i Creole English) and in American-English. Some of his recent Pidgin writing has appeared in Rattle, Juked, and Unlikely Stories Mark V, among others. Balaz is an avid supporter of Hawaiian Islands Pidgin writing in the expanding context of World Literature. He presently lives in Cleveland, Ohio.

 

 

 

 

 

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