New Drug by Jack M. Freedman

Hi, Jack M. Freedman here introducing YOU to a new drug on the market that will change your life
forever.
Will you ride white horses as your hair blows in an autumn breeze and forget about how you
contracted genital herpes from the horse?
Will you hit the game winning home run as the crowd goes wild, never allowing your Irritable
Bowel Syndrome to ruin the rest of your adult life and the outfield?
Will you run through tall grass barefoot, throwing caution to the wind as you keep your Type II
Diabetes under control…even if said grass is filled with broken bottles and dirty syringes?
Will you stop caring about your medical condition long enough to actually enjoy life?
Anything is possible…until you learn the side effects and discover that the medication you are
taking can lead to death by zombie apocalypse…also known as Capitalism!!!
You may be happy to know that this drug isn’t an antidepressant that will cause you to have suicidal
ideation due to the sex drive you traded in for a sense of self worth.
You’ll be glad to know that it won’t help you lose weight through leaky anal discharge and get it
half off with an economy sized package of Depends.
You will kick social anxiety to the curb with your restless legs.
Hopefully this pitch won’t put you to sleep, unlike the mononucleosis you contracted by kissing
your responsibility to your temple goodbye.
The jolt you get from life will be a huge departure from atrial fibrillation and will be significantly
less expensive than that EpiPen you bought for your allergies to a healthy lifestyle free of the
chemicals your pharmacist already pumps into your ever increasing fragile state of mind and body.
What is this drug you might ask?
This drug is none other than:
SUCKER!

jack-m-freedman-copy
Jack M. Freedman is a poet and spoken word artist from Staten Island, NY. He is the author of Serotonin Seas, Never Lick the Spoon, and Tobias. Publications in which his work can be found include Third Rail, Unquiet Desperation, First Literary Review-East, Espresso Ink, Boston Literary Magazine, Eunoia Review, Acoustic Levitation, NYSAI Press, St. Gorge Day StoryBook, typoetic.us, di-verse-city, Advanced Chapbook No. 5, POSTblank, Madness Muse, and Rat’s Ass Review.
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