Fucking Hell! I almost kicked an 8 year old kid in the face
as I hurdled the country lane stile at a gallop.
You need to stop text messaging me, it’s driving me crazy,
I’m a man, for fuck sake, I can’t multitask…
I have to keep slowing down or stopping to read them.
Oh yeah, the photos are different, keep ‘em coming.
Of course this is a nice surprize, I’m only half-dressed,
I’m wearing one Dr. Marten and a skate trainer…
but, I’m on my way, honey… like shit off a shovel.
Christ Alive!… it’s ok… that was fucking close…
I nearly punched a cow but it moved out of the way.
I haven’t had chance for a wank yet… oh well…
we’re just gonna have to do it at least twice,
the first like a machinegun, all hard-core & messy.
What’s that? where are your fingers?
Fuck this! You gorgeous bastard! I’m getting off the phone
so I can get across this blurry terrain faster… yee-fucking-ha!
