Over The Hill, Under The Bridge, Across The Meadow & Into Her Knickers! by Paul Tristram

Fucking Hell! I almost kicked an 8 year old kid in the face
as I hurdled the country lane stile at a gallop.
You need to stop text messaging me, it’s driving me crazy,
I’m a man, for fuck sake, I can’t multitask…
I have to keep slowing down or stopping to read them.
Oh yeah, the photos are different, keep ‘em coming.
Of course this is a nice surprize, I’m only half-dressed,
I’m wearing one Dr. Marten and a skate trainer…
but, I’m on my way, honey… like shit off a shovel.
Christ Alive!… it’s ok… that was fucking close…
I nearly punched a cow but it moved out of the way.
I haven’t had chance for a wank yet… oh well…
we’re just gonna have to do it at least twice,
the first like a machinegun, all hard-core & messy.
What’s that? where are your fingers?
Fuck this! You gorgeous bastard! I’m getting off the phone
so I can get across this blurry terrain faster… yee-fucking-ha!

Paul Tristram is a Welsh writer who has poems, short stories, sketches and photography published in many publications around the world, he yearns to tattoo porcelain bridesmaids instead of digging empty graves for innocence at midnight; this too may pass, yet. Buy his books ‘Scribblings Of A Madman’ (Lit Fest Press) http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1943170096 ‘Poetry From The Nearest Barstool’ at http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1326241036 And a split poetry book ‘The Raven And The Vagabond Heart’ with Bethany W Pope at http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1326415204 You can also read his poems and stories here! http://paultristram.blogspot.co.uk/