Err, Gross! by Paul Tristram

What the fuck is up with your cock?
You’ve got leprosy, Jesus Christ!
There are small pieces falling off it.
Ych y fi, mun!
I’ve got a mouthful of bitty shit…
I’m gonna need to shave my tongue.
Eh? Toilet roll? I don’t understand?
Pre cum… oh, I see…Ha!
Well, I was excited too,
but fucking hell!
You could have checked
before you invited me
down into your nether regions.
You know that pub bog paper’s crap.
It’s quite funny, actually,
now that I’m calming down.
I’m just glad you didn’t stick it
straight into my pussy like that.
I’m gonna have a quick cigarette
whilst you sort yourself out, alright.
What? No, not a wank, you soft cunt…
off to the bathroom with you
and wipe it properly, for fuck sake!
Use the damp face flannel
hanging on the side of the bath,
it’s my room mates and I can’t stand her.

Paul Tristram is a Welsh writer who has poems, short stories, sketches and photography published in many publications around the world, he yearns to tattoo porcelain bridesmaids instead of digging empty graves for innocence at midnight; this too may pass, yet. Buy his books ‘Scribblings Of A Madman’ (Lit Fest Press) ‘Poetry From The Nearest Barstool’ at And a split poetry book ‘The Raven And The Vagabond Heart’ with Bethany W Pope at You can also read his poems and stories here!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s