My Scoundrel Ways by Paul Tristram

Woke up laughing in a police cell…
not knowing nor caring
what I was in there for?
Yawned my way through
the ‘No Comment’ interview
and was already
putting the experience out of mind
ten steps down the ‘Out On Bail’ road.
Drank 6 beers on ‘Tick’
when I had cash in my pocket.
Let a woman who fancies me (Fool!)
take me back to her place
for an unemotional afternoon grind
just so I could take a dump
somewhere warm and clean
and then use her shower and printer.
I left, without saying ‘Cheerio’
as soon as the amphetamine kicked-in,
whilst she was vomiting
semen and Scrumpy out in the kitchen.
Shared a cab with my Ex’s neighbour
and then jumped it
at the second lot of traffic lights.
Grabbed the biggest bunch of flowers
from the graveyard,
crumpling up and gutter-throwing the
‘You’ll Live Forever In Our Hearts’ card.
I handed them to you in the back doorway,
let you kiss me once upon the cheek
through happy, grateful tears…
then rub my feet gently
as I sipped a single malt
and sent a recent half-erect ‘Cock-Shot’
over to your younger and prettier sister.

Paul Tristram is a Welsh writer who has poems, short stories, sketches and photography published in many publications around the world, he yearns to tattoo porcelain bridesmaids instead of digging empty graves for innocence at midnight; this too may pass, yet. Buy his books ‘Scribblings Of A Madman’ (Lit Fest Press) ‘Poetry From The Nearest Barstool’ at And a split poetry book ‘The Raven And The Vagabond Heart’ with Bethany W Pope at You can also read his poems and stories here!

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