The Clitoris Terrorists by Paul Tristram

Four ‘Out On The Lash’ women in their late thirties
cornered one of the gang of adolescent delinquents
in a back lane behind Gloucester Cathedral,
one foggy, inner city, winter’s evening.
The hefty one bitch-slapped the little Herbert
down onto his knees with her handbag.
Which contained 20 Benson & Hedges, six lighters,
a bucketful of war paint, hair bobbles, two mirrors,
a brush, condoms and a half drunk bottle of Martini.
Her mobile phone was tucked into the top of her bra,
obviously, she was cool as fuck and right on one.
“So, you’re one of those annoying little fuckers
who’s been running ‘round the place
peeking up lady’s skirts like perverts
instead of pickpocketing and mugging like decent villains.
How old are you, eh? You’re not a man you’re a puppy,
I bet you haven’t even got pubic hair yet?
What’s that you’ve got painted on your jacket then?
‘The Clitoris Terrorists’, are you serious, mate?
I bet your mother stencilled that fucking tripe on there
like an idiot after wiping your dirty, little arse for you.
You should be ashamed of yourself, for fuck sake!
You wanna see some flange do ya? Here we go big boy,
I’ll show you something that you’ll never forget, aye.”
Her Canal No. 5 wearing friends stepped forward
and held the little struggling cunt down
as she lifted her wide, short skirt,
fingered her Bridget Jones knickers to the side
and spluttered piss all over his horrified, bum-fluffed face.

Paul Tristram is a Welsh writer who has poems, short stories, sketches and photography published in many publications around the world, he yearns to tattoo porcelain bridesmaids instead of digging empty graves for innocence at midnight; this too may pass, yet. Buy his books ‘Scribblings Of A Madman’ (Lit Fest Press) ‘Poetry From The Nearest Barstool’ at And a split poetry book ‘The Raven And The Vagabond Heart’ with Bethany W Pope at You can also read his poems and stories here!

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