I’m Not Aroused, Really… It Just Happens Sometimes When I’m Nervous by Paul Tristram

What the hell is the matter with you?
I tell you that we’re ‘On The Rocks’
and ‘That’ happens?
It’s very disconcerting
trying to have a serious conversation
about the state of our relationship (Ha!)
with ‘That’ sticking up and waving about
right in the middle of the proceedings.
And stop saying ‘Whaaaattt’
in that gorgeous Welsh drawl
like it’s a miraculous answer to everything.
Oh Great! Pre-cum now… Jesus Christ!
pull the blankets over yourself.
I’m losing my train of thought here…
Give me strength, do you need 5 minutes?
Can we finally discuss things then?
How about 5 more minutes after that?
After you’ve finished your cigarette?
It’s like trying to book into the dentist!
No! you lunatic! I’m not helping you out,
have you not been listening to me?
Don’t make me smile or I’ll get angry,
you are such a fucking bastard, I swear.
I’d have ended this ages ago
if you didn’t insist on going down on me
three times a day, every single day
and that’s not counting ‘Date Nights’
Hurry up, for fuck sake! be quick about it,
I’ll be waiting out in the kitchen.
Aye, I know you’ll be thinking about me…
you’d better fucking be, you annoying cunt!

Paul Tristram is a Welsh writer who has poems, short stories, sketches and photography published in many publications around the world, he yearns to tattoo porcelain bridesmaids instead of digging empty graves for innocence at midnight; this too may pass, yet. Buy his books ‘Scribblings Of A Madman’ (Lit Fest Press) http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1943170096 ‘Poetry From The Nearest Barstool’ at http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1326241036 And a split poetry book ‘The Raven And The Vagabond Heart’ with Bethany W Pope at http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1326415204 You can also read his poems and stories here! http://paultristram.blogspot.co.uk/

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s