Two Narcissistic Comedians Fighting Over A Clown Puppet, Snidely by Paul Tristram

“Oh no, he’s beaten Me to it…
he’s got it sat contemptuously upon his vindictive hand.
I’m falling again, inside…
back to the little snotty nosed kid which no one liked,
was unloved and ignored and everyone picked on.
I’m going to cry… but it’s not safe
to show anything but spite and indifference in public.
Help! My delicate ‘Mask’ is melting.”

“I’m on Top Of The World.
Just look at the finger movements on me, POW!
Elegance and Grace… Ta-da.
I’m going to Fred Astaire it all over this stage.
Adore Me or Fear Me, Motherfuckers!”

“His reflections are applauding him
and the shadows are starting to take notice…
I am in HELL.
I’m so Angry, look at my pathetic narcissistic rage,
oops, he glanced in my direction and nearly saw the real Me.
He might have hurt Me… in real life.
I wish I had use of a laptop,
my Kingdom for a smart phone,
I’d go online bravely… and SLANDER!”

“Hey, look at my fantastic footwork, I picked that up on Broadway…
I’ve never actually been there…
but you’re not here to question merely Admire.
Watch this, I’m going to snap open its mouth
and make it say ‘Sausages’… BOOM!”

“Ha! he forgot to cover his face while projecting.
Everyone saw his lips moving.
This is the opportunity I’ve been waiting for.
He’s dropped the puppet and run-off stage-side…
probably to chew upon his trembling, clenched fist…
and swallow a Xanax down with his panic, like a girl.”

“I’m never going to live this down.
Twenty years of charades and pantomimes.
Convincing everyone through empty intimidation…
and thousands of fake online accounts.
I’m going to KILL HIM!
Wait, this is the real world not social media…
I must be careful… or I could get hurt.”

“I am King again, shit’s just got real fans.
Big shout out to my home sycophants… Whoop, Whoop!
I told you all that this day would come…
and that I’d be taking you all along with me…
besides, I need your Narcissistic Fuel, bitches!”

There was in fact, No Stage or Audience…
Only an Illusion built upon Bullshit…
and fought over by two pathetic, cowardly Idiots.
Down the road at Pandora’s Palladium
the REAL ARTISTS were working their Magic.
There was no Top Billing nor Pecking Order…
only a Spotlight shared…
To Showcase everyone’s individual Merits and Talents.

The End.

Paul Tristram is a Welsh writer who has poems, short stories, sketches and photography published in many publications around the world, he yearns to tattoo porcelain bridesmaids instead of digging empty graves for innocence at midnight; this too may pass, yet. Buy his books ‘Scribblings Of A Madman’ (Lit Fest Press) ‘Poetry From The Nearest Barstool’ at And a split poetry book ‘The Raven And The Vagabond Heart’ with Bethany W Pope at You can also read his poems and stories here!