Flames Dyed Tight Into The Sides Of My Mullet & Tha Muthatruckers From The Arse-End Of Pole-Dancer City by Paul Tristram

By the time we’d drunk our way
through the Mojave Desert and hit Vegas,
my ball-sack had rejuvenated itself
with cactus juice, completely, hey!
First Stop: I glass-jawed some guy
on The Strip and taxed his cell phone
and entire stash of ‘Hot Chick Trading Cards’
That’s how I fucking roll… yeah!
I let the boys sound check without me
whilst I snorted 2 gram lines of Spitfire
off a $1,000 hooker’s wishbone, nice!
on the back of the sleazy tour bus.
Emerging magnificent & spectacular
2 hours later during the last but one song
of our notorious support act
‘The Toilet Cistern Nasal Surfers’
from Barnstaple, Southwest England.
I hit the stage like dynamite, innit!!!
with brothel creepers leopard-skinned
and smokin’, ready for some Punk Rock n Roll.
We raced through our new set of classics
‘I Cum Ya Ta Empty’, ‘Flugelhorn Playa’,
‘Side-Saddle Sally Gets Twisted Right Up’,
‘It’s Better Suction With ‘Em Teeth Out, Baby’
‘Hobo’s Groin Wager’ & the heavenly
‘It’s Not Even In The Same Ballpark As Mayo’
Finishing with 13 and a half encores of
‘Pre-Cum On Your Mother’s Forehead, Bitch!’
The Barkeep paid us double & shit himself,
leaving us alone to ‘British Culture’ his wife,
Damn, then we moved on to muthafucking Utah!

Paul Tristram is a Welsh writer who has poems, short stories, sketches and photography published in many publications around the world, he yearns to tattoo porcelain bridesmaids instead of digging empty graves for innocence at midnight; this too may pass, yet. Buy his books ‘Scribblings Of A Madman’ (Lit Fest Press) http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1943170096 ‘Poetry From The Nearest Barstool’ at http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1326241036 And a split poetry book ‘The Raven And The Vagabond Heart’ with Bethany W Pope at http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1326415204 You can also read his poems and stories here! http://paultristram.blogspot.co.uk/